Friday, July 30, 2004


I'm enjoying my last depressing visit to the beach in Santa Barbara this morning.  I leave for home in Ohio tomorrow morning. It is a place where people cover their bodies...even in the summer. I like it there!!!

I arrived at the beach with several things that would make me feel at home there.

I brought so many things that I needed a horse and buggy to take me to my spot where I could critique the beach babes and guys in action.

My place was set up and I began to scope the action of the under 30 something's.

What a sight to see from these eyes. Where do they get all that energy????

Beach volleyball is big here and I watched as the under 30 something's bounced around like they were on a trampoline and batted the white ball back and forth.

I just knew that the under 30 something females would surely lose their skimpy swim suits but they kept them on. Only by some higher power, I'm sure.

At the other end of the beach, many of the under 30 crowd were lifting surfboards high on their heads as they rushed to the water to catch a wave.

Don't these people ever walk anywhere?

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted several other over 50 something's sitting under umbrella's, dressed in turtle neck cover-ups watching the under 30 something's too.

Could it be that we are reliving our youth as we watch all that energy run up and down the beach?


I never had a body like that or could play volley ball or surf..

I'm just the beach critic for the under 30 crowd of Santa Barbara.

Hey where you are walking in those tall shoes!!! Does your Mother know that the bottom half of your swim suit is too small and stuck up your **##**???   Funny, I don't think she even saw me..... she sure kicked up a lot of sand with those tall shoes.

The over 50 something males watched as she sauntered by. Their heads were spinning around like Linda Blaire in that scary movie...  They will need heart care soon because........

Here comes another one just like the other one!!!

Santa Barbara Beach Critic signing off.

Mary Louise



Thursday, July 29, 2004




M. L.





Sunday, July 25, 2004


I aM oN VaCaTiOn IN sAnTA bARbARa, cA.

I  am writing like this because.... I just climbed exactly 18 Spanish tiled steps to the top floor. That is where the computer is located.... in the bedroom.

This is a 3 story condo. I enter on the ground level and hold Very tightly to the wrought iron railing and slowly climb 15 steps to the living room, kitchen area.

The views of the Pacific make it worth the climb... That is, if I could catch my breath LONG enough to look.

I think of the steps as my personal stair climber.  I'm sure that these daily climbs will tighten anything that giggles before I leave to go home..

I am getting smart though. I now take every thing that I own downstairs.. so I won't have to make the trek back up stairs to get my glasses or something else. 

I went to a store and bought 12 pair of reading glasses at $1:50 a piece and I have placed on all floors and in all rooms.

I will let you know, when I write again, what it is like to be aging and vacationing in the plastic surgery capitol of the world....and never have had plastic surgery!  

I never knew that so many people under 30 lived here! And, all of the under 30 types wear tiny, tiny clothes and tall, tall shoes. They go to the beach in itty, bity swim suits wearing (You guessed it) Tall, Tall shoes...AND they manage to walk across the sand looking very much in control, while laughing and talking to other under 30 somethings in mirror outfits.

Tomorrow, I will truge to the beach in my turtle neck, long sleeved cover up,my big hat, my umbrella, chair, book and reading glasses and my sun glasses... Plus my bottle of sun lotion and my water.  I will critique the whole lot of them as they strut past my chair. I'll let you know what I see!!!

It is very windy at the beach so I  will need to stay covered.... Plus, I don't want to frighten the under 30 somethings and cause them to have bad dreams about their futures.

Later,  M. L.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

The 5 stages of a female's life

 5 stages of a female's life


1. To Grow Up 
2. To Fill Out
3. To Slim Down
4. To Hold It In

To Hell with it

Monday, July 12, 2004


Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.

-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Thanks ChickieCheese

Thursday, July 8, 2004


    That's me in the white.

This was my workout this morning with some of my closest friends.



Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu

The picture went awayyyyyyy!!!!!

Sunday, July 4, 2004


It has done it again!!!!

I don't think anyone is reading this pitiful journal.

Is it because I am old?

Wait a minute...I'm not old...just well used.