Friday, November 26, 2004

THOUGHTS OF A RELUCTANT FLYER

Waiting for take off from the Springfield airport. It is raining and cloudy...great!

As usual, I am scared. I hate to fly....

Boy, it is hot in this cabin. The heat is creeping up to my face. I'm sure my face is fire red.

 I am on a 50 seater jet going to Cincinnati and I dread the take off.

The engines are revving now and we are starting the take-off.

Man, I don't like this feeling at all. I know that it is a control issue...beat, beat, beat...my heart.

I just put in my eat stopples so the noise won't be so bad.

O K, we are in the air. It is a little bumpy..OK, now it is real bumpy.

shoot....

The pilot just came on and said we are at 13,000 feet and will climb to 21,000 feet. It is too bumpy and the plane is swaying a little. I hope that I don't get sick and puke my insides up.

God, I am so scared. Why is it always bumpy when I fly? Don't cry, don't cry.....

We are at 21,000 and it is still so bumpy that I can hardly write. I write through flights to take my mind off of the fact that I am in a little tube, flying through the air, wayyyyyy UP in the air, at WELL over 100 miles an hour. I have put my life in the hands of people that I don't even know. I think it would be nice to exit the plane and say, thanks for the flight, Bill. I have known you for such a long time and I know that you are a good pilot.

Man, it is still so hot in here and the plane is almost full. It is a little plane...too little for my taste.

EWEEEUEEE...what is that horrible smell. Damn, someone is passing gas. It must be that old guy across from me who is asleep.

The smell comes about every 10 minutes and really screws up my deep breathing exercise to relax.

Hasn't this guy ever heard of Beano??? gagg.... If I had a rubber band on me, I could tell him to use it on that special place!

I figure if I write fast enough that I will forget to be afraid. NOTTTT WORKINGGGG..

There's that awful smell again. I would like to wake that man up and tell him to go to the restroom!

O K. the deep breathing...2 breaths in through my nose and 4 out of my mouth......

Gag...I just breathed in that man's smell. Shoot.

We must be decending because my ears are hurting.

Yep, we are decending and going through storm clouds. Why can't it ever be smooth when I fly, Why?

Touch down...YEA!  I'm almost home.

Oh great...The man with the gas problem just let one more fly...

I have gotten that smell in my nose and it will probably be a week before it is gone.

Taxing to the gate now. The smell is following us to the gate.

Thank you, God for getting me home safe.

SMELL and ALL.

M. L.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!

EAT CHICKEN TODAY...IT'S BETTER FOR YOU!

THANKS,    TOM

 

THE BIG GUY IS COMING!!!!

Mary Louise

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Going on a trip

I will not be writing this week.

Going on a trip.

I'm sure that I will have a lot to share when I return!

 

Mary Louise

Thursday, November 11, 2004

THE COUNTER STRIKES AGAIN!

Darn counter##*&^##***

It was up to 280 and I knew that I had some people who were reading my thoughts.

And now, only 10 people have visited this site.

O.K.....The counter thinks that just because that I am getting old...I don't notice these things.

But it is WRONG~~WRONG~~WRONG~

I keep an eye on the sneaky little counter. My eyes may be dimming but I can tell what it is doing.

It is on a mission to drive me crazy.. and then it will steal all of my jewelry and money and go on a cruise or to Europe or some other far away, expensive get-a-way with my money!

It is just waiting for me to let my guard down and then pounce....

The counter is probably in with people from the home who want to take me away but...HA~~~HA~~~HA~~~

I'm on top of everything and the counter will NOT win this war with this old Lady.

It doesn't know it but I could rub it out in a flash and then where would it be in it's quest to drive me to the home so it can take over my life, money and property!!!!

Keep on going back to 10 from over 200 hits and see me fight back.

AH, HA, HA,HA...counter...

You will never take this old Lady down...

Do you hear me?

Do you hear me!!!!

I'm going to win this war.........Counter.

Wait a minute...Who are those men with the white coats in my drive way?

ML

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

EAR INFECTION

You are only as old as you feel!!!!!!!!!!

Bad news for me today.....

I feel really old!

Nothing really hurts except....

My finger and now my right ear hurts.

Called my Doc and will see him on Friday.

I get a lot of ear infections and afraid I might be developing one.

I fly to Springfield, Mo on Tuesday and have horrible images of my ear exploding because of the pressure.

If this is another ear infection...

I will wear a sign around my neck when I get on the plane. I will choose a seat in the very back of the plane so that I can walk down the isle and everyone can read my sign that says...

DO NOT sit on the right across from me. This is a warning for passengers in three rows to the right of my seat across the isle.

If my right ear blows you will be the recipient of my ear fluids and it MAY contain blood.

I will be issuing all of you clear rain coats and eye protection.

I have placed a pencil in my ear in hopes of keeping the blast under control!!!

I figure that the plane will clear out after they read my sign and I can sit where ever I want to sit.

Kinda like having a private jet.

I know this sounds mean but I am just trying to protect the flying public.

Mary Louise

Monday, November 8, 2004

A STRANGE OLD LADY HAS MOVED INTO MY HOUSE

I got this today in an E-Mail and it is soooo true that I wanted to share it with my 2 readers.

Mary Louise

Please be careful. This person has found her way into my house and could also go to yours.

A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was!


She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body. This is very rude! I have tried screaming at her, but she just screams back.




The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no. Every once in a while, I find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly enough. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's all gone!

I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me. You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle cream. And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing.



Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies, and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really packing on the pounds. I suspect she realizes this, and to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting on weight, too.

For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty games, like going into my closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit. And she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organized.


She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers, and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it. And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio, and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers. She has done other things-like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum heavier and all the knob and faucets harder to turn. She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.

Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars. She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.

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Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong. She came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license, and just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me!

I hope she never finds out where YOU live



Saturday, November 6, 2004

MY BROKEN FINGER

I broke my little finger a few months ago.

It was painful but healed.

Now, there is a knot at the middle knuckle that starts to hurt when it gets cold or rainy!

Old age is creeping into my bones!!!! Well, into my little broken finger.

There is nothing that can be done to straighten it out.

The Doc said...maybe, with time it will go back to normal but no promises.

Damn..

I should name my finger..Peco, the 5 pound dog finger.

He is the one who disfigured my finger and showed no remorse.

Or maybe, I should start paying more attention as I walk!!!!

No...it was all Peco's fault.

I'm going to have to hide my ugly finger for the rest of my life. Maybe a glove on that hand...

Maybe, I can keep the ace bandage on it forever.

I get tired of people saying...My Goodness, what happened to your finger?

Too bad it was not my middle finger. Then I could just point the crooked  finger at them and watch them cover their mouths and run away.................

Never to ask me about my deformity again.!!!

M. L.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

YOU'RE NOT TOO OLD TO VOTE TODAY!

GET OUT OF THAT WHEEL CHAIR, GRAB YOUR CANE AND GO....... VOTE!

MARY LOUISE

Monday, November 1, 2004

A NEW DAY!!!!!!!

Ralph Walso Emerson has good advice to pass along today.

FINISH EVERY DAY AND BE DONE WITH IT..........

TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY;

BEGIN IT WELL AND SERENELY WITH TOO HIGH A SPIRIT TO BE CUMBERED WITH YOUR OLD NONSENSE........

THIS DAY IS ALL THAT IS GOOD AND FAIR.

IT IS TOO DEAR, WITH ITS HOPES AND INVITATIONS TO..........

WASTE A MOMENT ON YESTERDAYS.

Thanks, Mr. Emerson

Mary Louise