Thursday, April 28, 2005

THE DINNER #2

I went to the dinner last night and...HELLO...I had a good time!

I squeezed into the black silk with white satin trim. I didn't look half bad, I thought.

The meal was delicious but I didn't eat much. I was worried about the fat exploding factor....THE GIRDLE!

It held everything in that was supposed to be in but breathing was difficult.

I worried all day yesterday about the dinner and now, it is over and I feel kinda sad and empty....

Might as well go and eat.

I won't have to squeeze into another fancy dress until next time we go to a fancy, smancy dinner!

ML

 

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

THE DINNER

IT IS STILL COOL HERE...TOO COOL FOR SHORTS! SWEEEEET!

 

Now, I have another delimia.

I have to go to a fancy dinner tomorrow night. I don't want to buy anything new but I dread trying on all the clothes that I have for Fancy dinners.  My task is to find something that looks OK, that I can still breathe in and makes me look 15 pounds slimmer!

I need to start the hunt but find myself putting it off.

You guessed it. I really don't want to go to this dinner at all.

It is a "must go" type of dinner.

The problem is...the weight that I gained will make all of my clothes tight. Every single fancy suit or dress that I own will be too tight and I know that!

Even if I find something and wear it to the dinner, I won't be able to breathe. 

To make matters worse, I won't be able to eat the delicious dinner  because if I do...I might burst the seams of my dress or suit and all of my winter, white fat will blast out and cover the people seated at my table!

I know that it is not only me. I can invision hearing blasts of winter fat exploding from every table in the room!

I will just have to go and buy a strong girdle to guard against the fat exploding. Do they even make girdles anymore?

I'll soon find out won't I!

Maybe, I can still get into the black silk suit with the white satin trim. AHHH naw...don't think soooooo.

I'll try anyway.

The things that we women do to hide the winter pounds!!!

I wonder if jeans and a sweatshirt ( really Nice ones) will be OK to wear?

It did say "Black Tie" on the invitation but I could find a really pretty sweatshirt.  I could tape sparkles to the jeans! Yeah and I could wear really high  highheels.

Now, what about my hair?????

ML

Friday, April 22, 2005

12 Step Program to wearing Summer clothes

Another day of jeans and sweatshirts!!! ALLLLRIGHT!!

I know that my cover up days are numbered and so I am enjoying the few days that are left.

It will be cold through the weekend and so my lonely shorts will just have to wait.

I realize that I am not the only person who feels as I do.

It takes a while to adjust to exposing pale skin again but I can't wear jeans and a coat forever.....Can I????

I think that I will expose a little skin every day to transition into summer. Today, my hands are exposed. Tomorrow, maybe my arms but just for a few minutes.

I figure by the end of June, I will have adjusted and feel completely comfortable exposing my legs.

You just can't do this fast. It has to be a slow process.

It is like a 12 step program. Just one day at a time!

Take one piece of winter clothing off every day or two and adjust to the look.

I can do this...I know that I can!

 I'll be in my Daisy Dukes in no time!   

Are you with me Women???

ML

Thursday, April 21, 2005

TOO COOL FOR SHORTS

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!

It is 48 degrees outside today and I got to put on my jeans and a long sweater again!!!!

All covered up and the shorts are put away!!!!!

Life is Sweet!

ML

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Life before The Computer

I am so proud of myself!

First, the shorts that I talked about yesterday....TA DA...fit!

Just a little snug in the waist so this morning I put them on( plus my other clothes), put on my ear phones and hit the road. I walked a mile and it felt so good to be outside again.

I am determined to lose the pounds that I put on over the winter. Then, I can feel comfortable in all my clothes.

I was feeling so great and proud of myself out walking when I heard some pounding feet behind me. I turned to see a 20 something flash by me running.

This kid doesn't remember when there were not cell phones and computers.

I remember...

      LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER 

   Memory was something you lost with age

    An application was for employment
    A program was a TV show
    A cursor used profanity

    A keyboard was a piano
    A web was a spider's home
    A virus was the flu
    A CD was a bank account

    A hard drive was a long trip on the road
    A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
           

   And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..


   
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!

ML



Tuesday, April 19, 2005

SUMMER CLOTHES

It's THAT time of year again.

You know what I mean....

It's time to take off the long coats and everything else that hid the spoils of winter on my body.

I admit it...I have gotten a little fluffy.

I got some shorts out this morning but they are still lying on my bed.

I still have on my running suit. I am sweating but everything is covered.

It is also hard to take off the long sleeves and bear my flabby arms. In a stiff wind...I might take off to the skies.

I will have to do this summer clothes thing in stages.

So what if I'm the only woman in Krogers in July with a coat, hat and boots on.

At least everything will be covered.

AHHH...I remember the time when I wore tiny little shorts and mid drift tops.

My body was tight and tanned. Those were the days.

I try not to think about those days when I view my milky white fat in the long mirror.

But alas...it took me a long time to get my body into this shape and it will take me a long time to mend the damage that I did over the winter.

I wasn't thinking summer when I was eating all of the winter comfort foods.

I didn't even know damage had been done until this morning when I  resisted trying on the shorts.

Getting old ain't for sissies!

ML

Monday, April 18, 2005

WORDS IN PICTURES

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Picture something that represents literacy to you. People reading, a street sign you wouldn't want not to read, a favorite book: Anything that conveys the significance of words

Our son had not learned to read and write yet but still got his point across. I found this picture on the kitchen table the night after the Tooth Fairy visited!

SOMETIMES, A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS!    ML

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

VACATION PUFF...PUFF

VACATION  (PUFF.. PUFF)

I aM oN VaCaTiOn IN sAnTA bARbARa, cA.

I  am writing like this because.... I just climbed exactly 18 Spanish tiled steps to the top floor. That is where the computer is located.... in the bedroom.

This is a 3 story condo. I enter on the ground level and hold Very tightly to the wrought iron railing and slowly climb 15 steps to the living room, kitchen area.

The views of the Pacific make it worth the climb... That is, if I could catch my breath LONG enough to look.

I think of the steps as my personal stair climber.  I'm sure that these daily climbs will tighten anything that giggles before I leave to go home..

I am getting smart though. I now take every thing that I own downstairs.. so I won't have to make the trek back up stairs to get my glasses or something else. 

I went to a store and bought 12 pair of reading glasses at $1:50 a piece and I have placed on all floors and in all rooms.

I will let you know, when I write again, what it is like to be aging and vacationing in the plastic surgery capitol of the world....and never have had plastic surgery!  

I never knew that so many people under 30 lived here! And, all of the under 30 types wear tiny, tiny clothes and tall, tall shoes. They go to the beach in itty, bity swim suits wearing (You guessed it) Tall, Tall shoes...AND they manage to walk across the sand looking very much in control, while laughing and talking to other under 30 somethings in mirror outfits.

Tomorrow, I will truge to the beach in my turtle neck, long sleeved cover up,my big hat, my umbrella, chair, book and reading glasses and my sun glasses... Plus my bottle of sun lotion and my water.  I will critique the whole lot of them as they strut past my chair. I'll let you know what I see!!!

It is very windy at the beach so I  will need to stay covered.... Plus, I don't want to frighten the under 30 somethings and cause them to have bad dreams about their futures.

Later,  M. L.


Saturday, April 9, 2005

THINGS TO DO AT WALMART, K-MART & TARGET

15 THINGS TO DO AT Wal-Mart, K-Mart or Target while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
1.  Get  24  boxes  of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
 
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
 
3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
 
4  Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares .... and see what happens.
 
5  Go  the  Service  Desk  and ask to put a bag of M&M's on
lay away.
 
6 Stand by a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign and announce to people as they walk by that you have a problem with incontinence.
 
7  Set  up  a  tent  in  the  camping department and tell
other shoppers  you'll  invite  them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
 
8  When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask......
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
 
9  Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
 
10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are located.
 
11  Dart  around  the  store  suspiciously  loudly 
humming the....
"Mission Impossible" theme.
 
12  In  the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
 
13  Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "Pick ME"!
 
14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream....                                               "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
( And last, but not least!)
 
 
15  Go  into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and  then  yell,  very  loudly.....                                                        "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Friday, April 8, 2005

WEEKEND ASSIGNMENT #54

FRUSTRATED....The counter on this journal keeps going back to ZERO! I was up to 1, 134 visits and now I am down to 23 again. Does anyone know why this happens????? MLRJEH

Weekend Assignment #54: Tell us all a single piece of wisdom you've learned from personal life experience. It can be a small thing, it can be a big thing, a simple tip or trick or the most important thing you've ever learned from life. But whatever it is, you should be able to state it in one sentence. That way people will remember it easier.

Extra Credit: Tell us: Would you have listened to your own bit of advice as a teenager? Be honest, now.

This advice was from my Daddy. We were talking one day when he said to me;

Mary Louise, I don't care what you do in your life, just do it well! Even if you are digging a ditch...You dig the best damn ditch that has ever been dug!

My Dad wanted all of his girls to be strong women and so he added...And don't take any crap off of nobody!!!!!!!

EXTRA CREDIT: I took his advice as a teenager and made it my on and passed it on to my children.

Mary Louise

Monday, April 4, 2005

THE RED HAT LADY

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Action! Catch something or someone in the middle of movement. If needed, explain what we're seeing. It can be anything: People, pets, animals, machines -- just catch them on the move.

RED HAT LADY IN MOTION

Saturday, April 2, 2005

GREAT QUOTES BY GREAT LADIES

 

 GREAT QUOTES BY GREAT LADIES  

Inside every  older lady is a younger lady -- wondering what the hell happened.
  -Cora  Harvey  Armstrong- 

  Inside me  lives a skinny woman crying to get out.  But I can usually shut her up  with cookies.

 The  hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.  
  -Helen  Hayes (at 73)-  

 I  refuse to think of them as chin hairs.  I think of them as stray eyebrows. 
 -Janette  Barber- 
         
Things  are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. 
  -Lily  Tomlin-  


A male  gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.  
   -Carrie  Snow- 

Laugh and  the world laughs with you.  Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.  
    -Laurie  Kuslansky- 

My second  favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being, hitting my head  on the top bunk bed until I faint. 
  -Erma  Bombeck- 


Old  age ain't no place for sissies. 
  -Bette  Davis- 

A man's  got to do what a man's got to do.  A woman must do what he can't.  
  -Rhonda  Hansome- 

The  phrase "working mother" is redundant. 
   -Jane  Sellman- 

Every  time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.  
-Jennifer  Unlimited- 

Whatever  women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as  good.  Luckily, this is not difficult. 
  -Charlotte  Whitton- 

Thirty-five  is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling  apart. 
  -Caryn  Leschen- 


  I try to  take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me
at once.  
  -Jennifer  Unlimited- 

If you  can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.  
-Catherine- 


  When I was  young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they  realized I actually had a hearing loss.  And they called ME
slow!  
  -Kathy  Buckley- 


 I'm not  offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm  also not blonde. 
  -Dolly  Parton- 

If high  heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.  
  -Sue  Grafton-  

  I'm  not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.  
    -Roseanne  Barr- 

When  women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another  country.. 
   -Elayne  Boosler- 


 Behind  every successful man is a surprised woman.      -Maryon  Pearson-

  
 In  politics, if you want anything said, ask a man.  If you want
anything  done, ask a woman. 
  -Margaret  Thatcher- 


 I have  yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.  
  -Gloria  Steinem-  

I am a  marvelous housekeeper.  Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.  
  -Zsa  Zsa Gabor-  

Nobody  can make you feel inferior without your permission. 
   -Eleanor  Roosevelt- 

I lOVED ALL OF THESE....

ML