Friday, March 31, 2006

THE LOOKING GLASS

 
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING,
"SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?" WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!


I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN??

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. HMMM,...OR COULD HE???

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGANPARKHIGH SCHOOL.

"YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, ! "IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED SON-OF-A-GUN ASKED, "WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

Thursday, March 30, 2006

KNEE UP-DATE

I wrote earlier about my right knee.

It is so swollen that it makes my left knee look tiny!!!

 

ALL RIGHT  swelling!!!

It's nice to have something on my body look tiny!

ML

 

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

SPRING CLEANING


Dirt
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful
filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs
Artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them &call them holiday decorations.)

Pet Hair
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)

Guests
If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into
one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

Dusting
If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on
the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."

General Cleaning
Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere."

As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works every time.

Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck, always keep several get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and unable to clean.

Monday, March 27, 2006

I'm back with a bum Knee

It has been quite a while since I have written.

I have just returned from a month in Santa Barbara, Ca.

We sold our condo there and it took me a month to get it ready and have a Tag sale.

It was a lot of work but everything went well and I'm so glad to be home again.

While working out there, I sprained my right knee!

Just great...Just great!

Now, I am hobbling around with a brace on my knee.

I put ice on it for 20 minutes at a time. I can't believe that I sprained it so bad when I don't remember the exact incident.

It was embarrassing but I had to request a wheel chair in Salt Lake to get me to the right place to catch my plane. Then another when I reached Cincinnati to get me to baggage claim and my husband. He laughed when he saw me being wheeled up and told the attendant that he would pay him 3 dollars for me!

I never knew before how people will look at you with pity when you pass by in a wheel chair.

It was a new experience.

Gettin old sure ain't for sissies!

ML