Thursday, October 26, 2006

HOW TO STAY MARRIED

A man and woman had been married for more than 60
 years. They had  shared everything.They had talked about everything.

 They had kept no secrets from each other except that
 the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of
 her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
 
For all of these years, he had never thought about
 the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man  took down the
 shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She
 agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
 
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and
 a stack of money  totaling $95,000.
 
He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be
 married," she said, "my grandmother told me the
 secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She
 told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should 
just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
 
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight
 back tears.
Only two precious dolls were in the box.
 She had only been angry with him two times in all
 those years of living and loving. He almost burst
 with happiness.
 
"Honey," he said, "that explains the
 dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did
 it come from?"
 
"Oh," she said,
 
"that's the money I made from selling the dolls"!

Friday, October 13, 2006

I'VE SURE GOTTEN OLD! (Author Unknown)

I've sure gotten old!
 
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees.
Fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But.......
 
Thank God, I still have my driver's license.
 
 (Author Unknown)

THE TRUTH

 Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful rose tattooed on one boob. 

One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. 
 
She doesn't  know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging  basket.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A NEW LITTLE PAIN....

I thought that I had stuck something in my left heal.

Every time I stretch it to walk, I get something similar to an electric shock in my heal and ankle.

It doesn't hurt all the time but I am aware of it all the time.

Turns out that it is something called Plantar fasciitis. It seems that it is a common cause of heel pain in adults.

Just something new to deal with that is very annoying but....

It could be so much worse so I count my blessings!

ML

Friday, October 6, 2006

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

 PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

 3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

 4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "

 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

 7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

 8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

 11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.

 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

 13. You sing along with elevator music.

 14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to  pay off.

 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 
 
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

 19. You can't remember who sent you this list and you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

PAIN IS HERE, GONE..OUCH...ANOTHER PAIN.

Why is it that when one thing stops hurting in my body that causes me to run screaming for the heating pad or ice pack and....

The pain finally subsides with the hot or cold attention and then.....

 I notice another thing  has started hurting in it's place????

It is as if we can only focus on one pain at a time. There seems to be little mulit-tasking with pain.

 

Sure, sometimes the whole body can hurt but real shooting pains have to be dealt with one at a time.

That is my opinion, anyway.

Anyone else out there think this MAY be true???

ML

Monday, October 2, 2006

IS IT A COLD OR THE FLU # 2

I saw my doctor today and asked...

Is it a cold or the flu, I asked??

 

Response..

 

Neither, ML...

 

It is Allergies!

 

WHEW...I Think!!!!

 

ML